I can't sleep.

I've only been to three weddings in my entire life.  This last one was a little more impacting, partially because it was at my house (and thus spun everyone into a vortex)

I've noticed a trend lately of every married person I've known forever reiterating to NOT get married.  I'm completely baffled at the concept of legal certification of monogamy and love.

The reason I'm baffled is because both dynamics of marriage seem to deteriorate.  I'm not sure but I think it just may be my environment.  Where is that "connection"? What is that bond that people speak of? How do you "just know"?  Is it even possible with objective cognition?

What's even worse is after three shots of tequila (the reason I love my extended family is because they have no problem substituting various cliches for better ideas i.e. tequila shots instead of champagne toasts) and several coronas, my father and (now married) uncle made me realize that I'm am most-likely the next person to get married with the Nowak name.

I'm not sure how to feel about that.  I look at the newest marriage in my family and I see two people so engorged by the idea of being in love that other logistical and emotional necessities seemed to be completely negated.

I see most other veteran marriages successful but with such hostilities that the tension just seems to build as the anniversaries go by.

And I see just a couple shimmering glimpses of beautiful marriages, but here's my problem; those few amazing beautiful marriages, I feel no relation personality-wise to those people.  

The most successful marriages I've witnessed are through people who are incredibly introverted and quiet and don't seem to open up much about themselves.  I love talking about why I love somebody to everybody.  I love telling everybody about every little facet.  Is this the inherency?

And if so does that completely solve the quandaries?

Now it's 2:21 in the morning.