Written by contributor M.F. Swanke
Choices. Life is all about choices. When I was five, I picked out my own room in the new family home. It was the smallest bedroom, but had the best view of the backyard woods and stream – I’ve always been one to appreciate a good view.
I chose to play the saxophone throughout Junior High, and chose to drop it for percussion and guitar when I started High School. Not long after, I chose to pick up drinking whiskey and started smoking a pipe. Chose to ignore family™ and friends™. Chose to change who I was, and I chose to switch my major three times during college. And now here I am with a degree, and no real-life™ experience.
I met a man the other day that told me he has been out of college for two years, and still doesn’t have a job. He spoke in a degrading tone about the jobs he turned down – bagging groceries at Fred Meyer, waiting tables, painting apartments, roofing – all jobs I would’ve gladly accepted. He said, “I’m looking for a good-paying-salary-job, and won’t just settle for anything.” This poor guy, much like myself, is living with his parents and waiting for something that could never happen.
Now, here’s the part where some of my generation might be tempted to try and gain a little sympathy from anyone whose not abandoned reading this for facebooking, masturbating or playing some stupid game on their iPhone. They might talk about the lack of jobs out there for a college grad while never even considering flipping burgers, telemarketing, retail or joining some labor-intensive work force. I’m sure they would bring up that one Political Science class they took, and their plan for changing the system, light up an American Spirit, and look emotionlessly into your eyes waiting for a response.
Well now, Gold might be up, but you still lost the fucking game. Home ownership is down, and the American dream is like our grandparents – fast approaching nothingness if not already dead.
So, here I sit. It’s 9:30pm on a Monday; a two-beer night quickly turned into five, and I’m now drinking my sixth Red Chair while reminiscing about the choices I’ve made, and how they’ve led me to this point. I keep replaying The Monitor by Titus Andronicus. My thoughts are a jumbled mess. My mind is not right, and typing this feels like work. Spring is coming. I can smell it.
On March 9th I will be leaving Washington and moving to Alaska where I was offered a manger position at The Fish Pirate Saloon in Ketchikan. The pay isn’t the best, but I’ve come to terms with the fact I will probably never make more than ten dollars an hour (at least for the next couple of years). I’ve got a great deal on housing, and the work hours will be plentiful. The job lasts only for the seven-month cruise ship season (with the option to work again next year), and I should be returning to Washington sometime in early October, but part of me is excited about the possibility of being sucked in by the North Country and establishing a permanent home base there for awhile.
Growing up I had always been excited about what the future would bring. In Junior High all I could think about was High School, and in High School all I could think about was College, and in College all I could think about was Life, but then someone would pour another drink or roll another joint and I’d forget about it.
Life In Three Parts
Part One:
Go to High School and get good grades
Part Two:
Go to College and get good grades
Part Three:
???PROFIT???
It seems like many of us go through life just waiting for the next step, for the next part of the game to begin. All the major decisions in my life were made to ensure I got through College so I could secure a future for myself. Except College didn’t prepare me for real-life™, and nobody ever told me that there really wasn’t going to be a future just waiting around for me to graduate. So, this is why I’ve decided to head North – not just because it’s a job, but because it’s the most unexpected option for Part Three. I choose to escape the future instead of staying in Washington, chasing a dream that will never come true.
No Future Part Three: Escape From No Future
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