Thoughts on Vacation Part 2: The Christmas Mullets and the Great Hometown Stereotyping

I've spent a lot of time really stereotyping my hometown, and just a few days ago two of my closest friends from Bellingham came down for a birthday/welcome back party for another mutual friend, and I realized that the broad brush strokes I've painted over time might not accurately describe an outsider's perception.


...and with this thought in mind I went to the grocery store today and witnessed two, yes two, men with mullets.

and I'm not talking like "oh, I just haven't bothered cutting my hair and it kind of grows this way".  I mean like legitimate well groomed and articulated mullets.

I doubt it was coincidental that they just decided to mill around the Safeway in Battle Ground on Christmas Day.

But more than anything else I recognized the representation of their personalities that respectfully placed each into their magnificent and, dare I say, ballsy fashion statements.

Player #1 had the legitimate feathered mullet, the vanguard of the cliché mullet world.  Ironically he was also wearing a wife beater with a Hawaiian shirt.

example:

I should probably note that this a costume wig, and the dude definitely wasn't fucking around

Player #2 almost appeared to be a modern day version.  The phrase "Business in the front. Party in the back" seemed to be very much alive hear, as the top of his mullet was a very well groomed flat-top, which could either be interpreted as very post-modern or very registered sex offender.  But where he went left field here was his "back" was actually a groomed pony tail, which threw me for a loop because it actually almost legitimized his love for nostalgia.

Example:

Imagine this with a ponytail.  Yes, this is a picture of Billy Ray Cyrus.

As I drove home mildly confused and oddly frustrated, I realized that I am not exaggerating about any of the shit that I talked.  

That last thought hit me as I passed a deer-crossing sign that had a shotgun blast through it.

Merry Christmas.