For over a decade I've been making a mental list of all of the material things that can subsidize the holiday season pretty damn well. The criteria isn't really defined, although some of these things are just "aha" moments during the month of December that I discovered.
Vince Guaraldi's Charlie Brown Christmas Soundtrack
I've said it before, and I'll say it again; this is the Dark Side of the Moon of Christmas music. I say this because, for being a total a blatant attempt at a seasonal cash grab, this album older than my parents is still holding the test of time. The musicianship is so good that it has very much defined Vince Guaraldi's legacy, and it's easy to understand why. His combination of children's vocals, delicately bold piano, and sashaying drums can really either put your heart at ease or put you in a holiday type of mood, real fucking quick.
The Santa Clause
There are two things supremely righteous about this film. The first is how funny overall Tim Allen is in this movie. I've seen this movie waaaaay too many times, but I think people forget how hilarious Allen was when he wasn't doing a show as dumb as Home Improvement. Of course, there's a lot of kid type of humor (as most children movies are), but some of the lines are just fantastic.
Example: skip ahead to the 4:39 mark on the video below.
The second great thing it does is emphasizes divorce at a very young age. Charlie, the little boy, is sharing the holidays between his father and mother (and mother's new husband), and major point of conflict that hadn't really been faced in cliche Disney Christmas movies was the struggle of the child trying to decipher how to handle Christmas between two families. This is odd because for Disney to do this in the mid 90s (yes, this movie makes me feel that old) is both a little unexpected and gutsy for a business structured around nuclear families.
Home Alone & Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
Despite the fact that these movies is incredibly old, it has remained shockingly stable. I think this comes from the fact that everyone from ages 12-25 grew up with this movie. and I mean, come on. It's the ultimate fantasy. You are 9 years old, your family is driving you crazy, and you have a giant house full of awesome shit. The scene alone where Macaulay Culkin is eating a gigantic sundae consisting marshmellows and cereal AND watching a violent gangster movie really is the embodiment of independence to a child. To this day I still want to scare the crap out of the pizza delivery boy, except now it's usually a guy in his late 30s looking like he already had that happen to him twice already.
The sequel is clearly an extension and a money maker, but being it that John Hughes (rest in peace) maintains a lot of integrity in his movies, he actually makes Lost in New York longer and more articulate, adding in the equation of not to fear old scary people to the homeless (in which the most heartwarming scene involving turtle doves) only trumped by even more tortuous felon traps.
It's a Wonderful Life
What's most amazing about this movie is the fact that it took 30 years for people to realize how amazing this movie is. Perhaps Frank Capra's masterpiece (negating Mr. Smith Goest to Washington and It Happened One Night), the only reason it's "festive" is that the climax of the film takes place sometime around Christmas. But to this day it's one of the most moving films I've ever seen. It's become such a cliché to say "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings", but if you invest into the first two hours of the movie, it'll cause you to sob like a child. Every person can relate to Jimmy Stewart's character, especially if you grew up in a close community of people or a small town. The protaganist is a such a crazy combination of hilarity and concentrated evil, the cast of townspeople are wonderful, adn the lead pushes something that few movies have ever pulled off; a person who does not feel fulfilled despite being a dedicate architect of your friends of community, and then eventually realizing it the most real and tangible way that it really is a wonderful life.
Watch this:
A Christmas Story
There's a reason there's an entire channel dedicated to this movie for 24 hours. It's a hedonistic Christmas movie articulated to a T. It's nothing more than an attempt to define the joys of watching your parents bitch and moan while you sit around begging for gifts and fantasize about how you would use such gifts.
Elvis Presley Christmas Album
What separates this from the rest of this list is it's not necessarily oriented towards Christmas, but yet it is entirely oriented towards the holiday. Example: the very first song starts with several men singing the word "Chriiiiiiiiiiiistmaaaaaaaaaaaaas. Chriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiistmaaaaaaaaaaaaas." And then, BAM, a very aggresive snare drum starts pounding and it turns into this weird mesh of very cliche music and great odd 50s style rock and roll ("Blue Christmas" is a perfect example). But because it's the most schizophrenic album I've ever heard, it has to be mentioned.
C9 Bulb Christmas Lights
I will make this case right here and now: eco-friendly Christmas lights are ruining Christmas. For those of you who don't know what C9 bulbs are, they are the old fashion giant really overheating style lights that could possibly burn your house down. But they are just soooo pretty. My household somewhere towards the late 90s decided to switch the mini icicles which just looked like a flacid penis in comparison.. And we all know that Christmas is not about limp dicks, it's about big giant American throbbing dicks of consumerism, and C9s just look so damn bright and professional.
Hot Chocolate w/Peppermint Schnapps
This is a how a grown ass child like myself and my friends celebrate a holiday. Usually you would add some music mentioned from this post as you sip on this.
The scent of Grand Fir Christmas trees
I consider myself to be a little bit of connoisseur on this topic. One thing that makes the strongest argument for a natural Christmas tree is the overwhelming scent of evergreen in your living room. I often find myself during the non-holiday months looking for the smell in candle form. It feels like sap and warmth.
Bing Crosby's "Silent Night"
To define the old fashion 60s Christmas archetype that is still equated to the holiday, there is only ONE SONG that perpetuates properly.
Sufjan Stevens
'Nuf said.
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