Nowak Attack

Recently I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My parents loved her. The reasons for which my parents believed this were as followed:

-She's smart.
-She's pretty.
-She's funny.
-She gives me shit to keep me in check, but not too much shit.

It was a great weekend overall but at one point I smashed the glass basin for the hookah my friend in Iraq had just sent me. That was definitely NOT cool and everyone at the barbeque did one of the simultaneous awkward quiet things where I felt like the boy that just fell off his bike and no one wanted to say anything because they all felt so bad.

At one point during the weekend my girlfriend said that she "finally understood all my dynamics"

The reason I believe for this was her lack of understanding for my rural-ness.

She didn't understand my love for UFC fighitng, or my transcendental/linear binary.

Then she met my dad. And he loves the same shit I do (kayaking, drinking, UFC, getting nagged at by my mother, etc.)

But you need to understand that my dad has this strange love for being smothered by material possessions and yet wants to live in a cabin somewhere out in the Cascades. (The last three books he's read were "Into the Wild", "On the Road", and "Travels With Charley".)

And then she met my friends, whom I closely identify with but are much less self-aware. They are also the pinnacle of immaturity, which I think is something I also closely identify because I often wish I was still that narrow-minded and ignorant of the world, but oh well, it's my fault I thought college was a good idea anyways.

But the weirdest thing above all was the fact I realized that my parents are also much the same way. Not that they aren't self-aware (TRUST ME, they are), but more in the sense that they've adapted to the homogenized bubble of sanity known as my hometown.

Example: Me and my mom began drinking on Saturday night, and as usual we got into a heated argument regarding politics (this only happened because my friend confuses "socialism" and "terrorism" and "communism" as the same word.) My mom is stating facts that she believes are true to the Republican Party, and yet I persist in arguing that Republicans are no longer Conservative. Then she (and this happens a lot in my family) cites that Obama is a poor extemporaneous speaker (in my argumentation class this is known as the "hedging" fallacy).

Ok... but then my dad in his best Kofi Annan impression tries to mediate the situation by telling us both that it's all irrelevant. THEN my girlfriend tries to help. The four of us (four because my friend decides to randomly leave the argument in order to try and fuck the girl he was with) begin shouting and then it turns into a discussion between my girlfriend and me, and this is when both my parents start quieting down because they noticed she was using words like "construct", "post-modernism", and "binary" and I start using words like "pragmatism", "salubrious". Her big words calm me down and I look to my parents who are both smiling and fascinated that she could calm me down to a neutral agreement

It occurred to me then that my parents realized that they're boy is one of them "edu-macated" types, and it was a weird sense because I then realized that they are both so linear in their thought processes that they never tried reaching a consensus, it's always been narrow-minded thought that didn't ask the question of "why" in the overall spectrum-sense. And then my dad wrestled my friend and bruised his chest.

I had some sort of conclusion but I forgot what it was.