Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Ain't Got No Money, Honey. Unemployment and Selfish Temptations of the Flesh...

Recently I was driving back from Spokane and stopped just after the gorge to make kissy-faces and admire a canyon (I encourage most to do the same). During the middle of this pit stop I received a phone call from my best friend. He made me aware that we were both looking at unemployment for the entire summer. He said he had looked at craigslist and all he could find were jobs in Europe. The only two he found worth a damn were the following:

A. A male escort in Madrid. (we both agreed you would definitely stay in shape.)

B. Working as a *ahem* webcamera actor in Germany doing very dirty things online for your customers (the benefit here is you could work from home, and talk to your mom on skype).


I'm looking for A.M. radio station or city council internships in Vancouver and he's looking at full time masturbation.

I called him again recently and again, found their was JACK SHIT available for money.

two hours later he sent me the following message:

From: _____ _______
Subject: since we don't have jobs this summer..
Message: The 24-24 Challenge




We're not even sure if it's feasible... But thank you, sick bastards.

Then it made me think of every time a 6th grader has told me a term on the bus that I had no idea.

Example: I remember back three years ago me and my cronies were at a basketball game and somehow I got into a heated verbal discourse with an 11-year-old (I thought he had stolen my friend's dvd of "What About Bob?") who at the end of our argument told me that he gave my mother "Arabian Goggles" and a "Mexican Blowtorch"

And then there was the one time I had to explain (yes, HAD to) to my parent's dinner party what a "Houdini" was.

UrbanDictionary.com will be the end of the world. If somehow Sean Hannity, Al Franken, Kathy Griffin, and Nickelback formed into one homogeneous blob with UrbanDictionary, you would get the Cloverfield monster.

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