[Oh yes, it's the] The Foxes! '09

The honorable mentions:

Kristen Stewart

I know, Twilight. I never saw either nor did I read the novels of abstinence porn Stephanie Meyers gave to the literary diarrhea pile. But I don't know if you saw the movie Adventureland, but god damn. Some of the better acting I've seen in a while (although that had much to do with the realism of post-college adolescence and usage of Violent Femmes' first album). Her vulnerability and connection with Jesse Eisenberg made me wish I was more nerdy and shy, just so I seemed appealing to her. Mmm...

Emma Stone

Speaking of Jesse Eisenberg, I noticed Emma Stone going from the hot girl from Superbad to being sexy woman in Zombieland. Her film history isn't really anything to salute (cough, The House Bunny, cough), but her self awareness put her in the top rung of hotness.

Alia Shawkat

She almost won my misogynistic contest this year. I was re-watching Arrested Development (she plays Maeby Funke, and very well) a few months back and thought to myself "I bet she's really hot now". I was right. First off, she's in that show (and was WAY smarter than most child actors). Second, she's hot. Third, she's a student at Berkeley (studying poli sci, no less)? Triple threat? Correct. I never actually saw Whip It, but seeing her in clips of the movie was enough to convince me.

Melanie Laurent

Shosanna Dreyfus from Inglourious Basterds. Nobody made killing Nazi more sexy. The unfortunate thing: not enough cinema to find in this country of her. That's what you get with the French. I've been swooning over her since August, and she came in a close second.

The Winner:

Christina Hendricks

When I first started coming up with ideas for this year's picks it wasn't even fair. She's just so perfect, if not purely on an aesthetic basis. She's the most intrinsic subtle character on the show who exposes such fantastic guise of confidence in such failure surrounding her. It may even be sexist to think that the hottest woman I've seen this year is portraying an archetype sassy beauty of the 1960s, but I really don't care (the only downside is she's married to this guy). Ladies and gentlemen, Christina Hendricks. Mmmmmm......

In the year 2010: What I really really look forward to in the next year.

Vampire Weekend - Contra (January 12)

My god, it's like my own personal 21st birthday present. Vampire Weekend has been steadily adding singles for us to nibble on (and, oddly enough, are already getting play in the mainstream?). I don't know what could have been critiqued last time around, so I assume the will end up getting the same treatment of The Strokes' Room On Fire.

Ted Leo & The Pharmacists - The Brutalist Bricks (March 9)

One of the most underrated acts playing, total vegan hippie New York socialites, and I'm totally okay with that as long as the did what they did last time. It's a safe bet because Ted Leo and his gang have rarely fucked up.

She & Him - Volume Two (March 23)

Part of my excitement was the really decided to name their sequel Volume Two. Despite the fact that Zooey Deschanel is wearing herself thin with my patience (we get it already, you're hot) nothing is going to make me happier than seeing springtime emerge and have this to go with it. Seriously, try not to smile and listen to their first album, and then copy paste that to April 2010.

The Magnetic Fields - Realism (January 26)

I seem to remember their last album coming out at about the same time two years ago and falling in love with it while I was typing my English 101 papers. I've seen/read/heard a lot of people tell them they are of a bygone era, but I feel this album is prime for the old folks to show the kids what's what.

The National - (no title yet) (spring 2010)

I'm not really sure how to fuck their strategy up. They've created progressively better albums over time and don't seem to yet peak. Their musical style only facilitates better songwriting, and so I'm going to gamble this and maintain excitement for whatever the put out this year.

Spoon - Transference (January 26)

I have this strange feeling that this and Contra are just going to Arcade Fire everyone and we'll just all give up on the rest of the year (kinda like Animal Collective did this year). I've never heard a bad Spoon album, and this will be no exception.

In general I have very big optimism for a lot of things, and that might have something to do with my choice to not shave my beard mixed with the promise of a new decade. I'm stretching now because I know I'm going to run myself ragged, and with this soundtrack we might be going into the 1970s of music or the 1980s of music. Hopefully the prior, of course.

Mazel Tov!

My final blogs of this decade coming soon. I promise! Especially the big one... that's what she said? Yes. That is what she said.

Merry Christmas.

"No man is a failure who has friends."

Biggest Disappointments of 2009

This year's theme seemed to be something regarding reminding me it was no longer 2007. So much of this wasn't expected to be great, but this stuff just didn't even make a certain grade of quality and are unfortunately constituted in a bygone era. This is the 21 gun salute for many fallen soldiers.

Devendra Banhart "What Will We Be" -While it was a solid album (kind of) it didn't hold to a lot of standards and that was sad. The only standard though I'm referring to was a sign of maturity. Banhart has gone four LP's now and seems to make no evolution of refinement or effort, which sadly makes me question his legitimacy as an artist (see Megapuss' album)

Wolfmother "Cosmic Egg" - In 2007 I gained my first employment and found a driven speed of determination that was symbolized within Wolfmother's debut. This reads like Twisted Sister's second album. The majority of band members are gone and most tracks on this album are spun into a mainstream chord form that lacks the innovation previously admired.

Wilco "Wilco (The Album)" - Almost nothing on this shows effort. If they don't watch it, Jeff Tweedy's going to turn Wilco into U2, which is a bold statement but I'm afraid they are becoming a little fucked out, and it shows now... And that's ok. Wilco already has two decades of influence under their belt, it's ok to put down the guitar and call it a day. I won't hold it against them.

Sufjan Stevens "The BQE" - Stevens just lost his mind a little this year. I hated how this tried to be classical and modern. It sounded like new wave jazz and left me a little disoriented. I still have faith, and after reading enough interviews with him, I can tell he knows what he did wrong. I'm just glad he finally told us that he's not really going to the 50 states project. Bring me "Illonois". I can wait for the next mindfreak.

The Thermals "Now We Can See" - The reason their last album "The Body, The Blood, The Machine" was so captain fantastic was because of the passion. It was 2006. Everyone was pissed about where we'd come as a society, and The Thermals were fucking angry. So how do you show passion in a moment of complacency? Well, apparently you can't. This sounded a little too homogenized and the result made me feel a little dissatisfied.

King Khan & BBQ Show "Inivisble Girl" - As you know, I claimed Khan's "Supreme Genius of King Khan & The Shrines" was the best of 2008 (negating MGMT & Bon Iver). It was so god damned good and the BBQ Show showed up. The ironic thing is BBQ Show (depicted on the cover as the octopus) would be great as a solo (and wrote the album's best song "I'll Be Loving You), much like King Khan, but together they seem like an early Jay Reatard EP.

Worst moment: "Tastebuds" Lyrics

Flight of the Conchords "I Told You I Was Freaky" - I was very understanding as to why this album was neither interesting nor funny. FOTC were done after their first season, and I think we all knew that. But with this I felt they could have at least tried on their second LP. It came off as shallow and I definitely felt some sort of hostility towards Sub Pop for their pressure on another accompanying album to the second and final season of their show (although the episode "Prime Minister" might be the funniest thing I've ever seen.)

New Hat

I've decided to embark on a pretentious endeavor. I'll now post records I've bought, and by doing so I'm recommending them to you as well. It's amazing I scored anything Elton John for 50 cents

(unedited but I'll do that tomorrow, maybe)

Wednesday, November 25, 2009 2:00 AM

I had spent the previous day covering myself in layers, missing class and using too much Vick's Sinus Spray. I had to work at 11pm until 2am.  I wanted to go home, desperately.  I knew that if I waited to get some semi-decent sleep, I would be stuck in a gridlock for the holiday for 6 hours.

Just for the sake of not being sick in Bellingham, I was sure that if I left this town I would be healthy again.

So after limited sleep cycles and a congested head, I finish work.  I feel slightly of death, but I can do this.  I WILL do this.

So a shower, a diet coke, a hot dog sandwich for nourishment, all my vitamins, another hit of my sinus spray, and a fresh travel mug of coffee.  This is how legends are made.  I make it out the door by 3:00 and on the freeway by 3:05am.

This first hour is difficult.  I thought it would be appropriate to listen to Animal Collective's new EP.  Mistake. Instead of feeling a sensation of intensity like I would listening to Dark Side of The Moon, it turns into sleepy music.  God Dammit, Animal Collective, you're suppose to excite me, not Interpol me. Well shit.  I'm at the northern end of Everett.

The Second Hour:

I-5 is an immensely long stretch of highway if you don't deviate from it other than to find a rest stop.  I begin to panic slightly and start (attempting) to drink my coffee in a moderate non-chugging fashion.  I was somewhat successful as I recognize the Northgate Mall in Seattle.  Fuck, I hate Seattle.  But this is not a time to think of what's wrong with this city.  Time for podcasts. We must all have podcast! We must all have podcasts forthwith! We must all think, and we must all have podcasts, and think each and every one of us to the very best his ability!

Adam Carolla.  he can save me with his witty guests and commentary about everyday life.

Seth Green and Adam Carolla are discussing evolutionary theories on artificial intelligence and how we demand everything around us to make our next move for us (such as predictive texting on cellphones), and that is hypothesized to take us over eventually. This is going to help me. The coffee has completely been depleted. I am scared because the coffee has not begun to kick in yet it is all gone? "Have I become immune to a single cup of coffee?" I think to myself. "Perhaps this won't do it for me.

The fantastic thing about driving through Seattle at 4:30 AM is there is [almost] no traffic and the express way is mine. I feel like a king fucking my way through miles of outstretched pavement placed underneath onramps and offramps. As this sensation is exciting me in a questionably sexual way I realized that my eyes have opened further in an unnatural way, my eyes are slightly shaky. I imagined this is what cocaine would do to the body, and I realize; the coffee is now working. The Rolling Stones' "Sympathy For The Devil"

I smell the Tacoma waiting for me down the bend. How close am I? I want it so bad. Earl Greyhound's "Soft Targets" is so loud the only thing acknowledgeable within my hearing is the cough drop I'm slowly crunching between screaming lyrics. It's somewhere between 5:00-5:45 AM and this coffee I'm suspicious of perhaps did have something else in it because I feel like Freshman Year 14 hours before a midterm. The intensity is going crazy. I listen to everything of intensity, Wolfmother, Fleet Foxes, Queens of the Stone Age. The podcasts are no longer a necessity.

It's towards the later end of the fourth hour of the day. I at this point have lost all concept of reality and sleep deprivation has been conquered and tied up in the back of my car. I have been up for more than 20 hours. I realize that since first consciousness I have been sick in bed, sweating in bed trying to flush my system, jerking myself out of bed and going straight to work (until 2:00 AM). We cannot tarry here. Haste! Tacoma I've always found to be the apex of mediocrity but this morning is special. While it is pitch black the fog has arrived in full force. While construction is taking place the red lights are so bright that the fog has turned caution red which has consumed me up to about 10 feet from my peripheral vision. Nothing can stop this far and I doubt it will.

The red fog chases me all the way to Olympia, and yet nothing seems to be changing. Tumwater. For those of you who don't know about Tumwater, it is a fantastic place to stop into but I would imagine there's a higher suicide rate in that town than all of Norway during Winter Solstice. There is a truck stop in Tumwater that has been nurtured into a miniature college student Hajj for me. Every time I drive home I stop there to pee and buy a refreshing something or another. At this point in the evening I resemble Kramer from Seinfeld; hair disheveled, shirt half-tucked, glasses fogged from natural facial excretions of unrelenting exhaustion. I take care of my personal business and stare at the cornucopia of absolutely disgusting and delicious greasebombs to ingest before I hit the bricks again.

Usually I instantaneously run to the corndogs or the Subway booth but nothing seems to grab me. A woman who works the early morning shift approaches my disoriented presence. She is at least 50 looking like a sweet hick lady with an attitude, a woman I would imagine growing old with had I been that age. She says to me "anything catching your fancy?" to which I turn and smile "No, I'm here trying to find what it is I'm looking for." She replies "What is that exactly?" "I'm not quite sure." I say. She tilts her head slightly and says to me "I think we're all looking for that. If you do find what it is your looking for you know where I am sweety." as she pats my shoulder and walks back to the counter.

"Coffee, fuck it." I say under my breath. A little known fact about the Pilot truck stop franchise carries coffee brewed from Costa Rican coffee beans, which mildly excites me, but I know is not what I'm looking for. I go the counter and for fear of commonality avoid the lady involved in my metaphor at the counter and go to the other woman. As my $2.00 drip with room is being "rung up" I make eye contact with the lady. She sees my coffee and I shrug my shoulders as if to say "This will have to do for now." I walk outside and notice the large line of semi trucks turning in. I tend to forget that different cultures in American society exist at different times of day. I reexamine my biological status. Everything feels greasy and dirty, although I do have coffee, and while my buzz is still very prevalent I am no longer tweaked. I am normal and dirty and am okay. Tumwater 6:15. My time so far is impeccable.

At this point I feel no drive for anything but the road. Normalcy, I think overall, was what I was looking for. Although my concept of time is no longer existent I still feel a need for the status quo, whatever that may be. Rilo Kiley "More Adventurous". Life begins to ponder itself into a montage while I hit mid-Chehalis. I pass the Stihl Chainsaw store that I remember passing several years ago after an unfortunate Christmas outing hating myself and watching the blinking Christmas lights rev around the fiberglass cutout of the chainsaw on the side of the building. I remember the first time I drove north to Bellingham at 17 so assured that it would be my place, now realizing that I wasn't looking for cool people, but I was looking for more people like me. I remember housesitting for a family and having to pull their Yellow Labs out of a pile of barbed wire fencing that they got tangled into. So much riles through when you think about the existence of an album in your life and how many places you can pinpoint where you were at while that album was playing.

This lasts for a while and I grow weary of duetting my deep voice to Jenny Lewis' soft one. I find this is time for something new. Something that has been involved in me but not in a heavy way. Dirty Projectors' "Bitte Orca". I am not passing into Longview, and I am close. The sun is just beginning to peak over the mountains, but the fog and darkness are still suppressing it heavily. "Cannibal Resource" is banging hard as if to beat away the darkness and fog. My speed of my vehilce seems to have steadied to cruise, I feel something heavy hit my chest. I am arriving in Kelso. "Temecula Sunrise" is next, and again the music is pushing the darkness away, yet the fog is still strong. Soon Woodland and La Center, and I am about 10 minutes away from exiting the freeway for good. This is truly either the work of god or one of 2009's best indie albums.

The darkness is no more. Music has vanquished darkness and has signed a peace treaty with fog. This fog, like it did in Tacoma, has illuminated the red-orange morning sky and I am happier than I've been in five years. I feel the touch of something holy.

Final tracks Thin Lizzy's "The Boys Are Back In Town" and Starfucker's cover of "Girls Just Want To Have Fun". Appropriate and I am screaming that shit from the offramp to Battle Ground. The light is becoming more prevalent as I am entering the main intersection of which I was raised.

I am at the driveway and it is 7:25 AM. I haven't been up this early in 6 months, and only because I stayed awake to get to this point. I hide my pack of cigarettes in my backpack, which I grab with me and head to the door where my mother is greeting me in her bathrobe (she's getting ready for work). I eat a satsuma orange and discuss in an abridged form what you've just read.


The coffee remains in my car cold, full, and completely untouched.

For December

Coming Soon.

The most fulfilling meditative moment of 2009

The decade list

The year list (albums and summary)

Nowak's Favorites List (random random shit, probably a lot of youtube videos)

Biggest Disappointments 2009

Perhaps a movie list

The hotties of 2009 (besides my girlfriend)

It's Listcember! Ho Ho Ho.

Thanksgiving

On this very special (not much more special) Thanksgiving I would like to state what I am thankful for.

The therapeutic drive home I had at 3 in the morning

Drinking whiskey all night, giving grown men relationship advice, and watching a documentary on Johnny Cash and what he considered to be the real America. It's the only America that exists.

The small dog that is currently underneath the covers of my bed whom is keeping my feet warm.

The friends who I have who go outside in the middle of the night and smoke a cigarette with me.

My mom.

My dad.

My sister, and... her boyfriend.

the people who will celebrate thanskgiving with me despite the fact they are not technically my family, but are now considered so.

My girlfriend whom I suspect is drunk with her family in Spokane right now.

Asian children who are wearing slightly racist hats and dancing to the "Chicken Dance"

and booze.

For all acquaintance be forgot...

Tube-Tuesday

Note: As I've called in sick today, I've been left to the confines of eating chicken soup out of a coffee cup, listening to jazz, watching Californication, and looking up rediculous shit on the youtube knockoffs.

Enjoy my sickness with me, won't you?

First Up: The Avett Brothers new music video (kinda). I can't seem to figure out whether or not I like this album, but the fact that Rick Rubin produced the entire thing helps.

The Avett Brothers - Slight Figure Of Speech - watch more funny videos

Second Up: Jimmy Fallon, whose late night show is getting progressively funnier btw, does a DEAD ON impersonation of Neil Young performing the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song.



more to come.

My girlfriend is the only person that I know of who can walk into a Cabela's outlet store and walk out having an existential crisis.

Everybody displaces something, but only the most intelligent can throw a bag into hot water and come out with three cheese lasagna.

Halloween, the wrong way.

The exploits of October 31, 2009 were not of pursuits I have taken forth in since my realization of alcohol, candy, or costumes. Sobriety specifically. Many would find this factor not even a factor. It's easy to say that many people do NOT partake in the debauchery I would argue is my status quo. But it did make me realize what I looked like at one point, at least at a younger age.

I gathered the nickname "the italian father" at one point when I was 18 (when intoxicated I apparently use to kiss everybody on the head and praise their existence in society, still do actually).

This Halloween was different. I worked. From 10:30 PM-3:00 AM. As of recently I've become a security guard for an anonymous organization. Said organization told me I was to work this Halloween. Furthermore, said organization told me to patrol late-night shuttles that moved drunk students from point A to point B. This meant sitting for 5 hours. On a bus. With 60 kids or more at a time. Here we go.


We start off at 10:30 at the main depot. The three bus drivers shake hands with myself and my two colleagues, each of us to "patrol" an assigned bus.

I meet my guy, we'll call him Larry. Larry is a very nice man. Very experienced. Actually, if I could rank all bus drivers judged by their bus driving credentials, he would be on the fucking top. And Larry TOLD me every last detail on how to be a late night bus driver. If you told me today to drive bus all day today, I would be on my game, because their wasn't a single detail left out.

The most important aspect of bus driving Larry taught me was how to deal with manipulative students. In fact, it made me very pessimistic of youth because every stop we hit, we had AT LEAST a dozen kids trying to pull a fast one on Larry. And Larry would have none of that shit.

...

The best part would be when Larry would be talking to me and mid sentence open the door for students and turn in to Larry the Bus Nazi.

ex:
Larry: Yeah when I use to drive bus in Seattle we could make over $80,000 in overtime if you - wait hold on a second *door opens* Is she drunk?
Student: No
Larry: Well then why is she puking?
Larry: Really, she's not drunk?
Student: ...
Larry: Ok let me see you bus pass
Student: I don't have mine... it got stolen.
Larry: You know you're the thousandth kid to tell me he got his bus pass stolen tonight, and I bet you're the first honest one?!
Student: Listen it..
Larry: GET OFF MY BUSS! WHEN I GET BACK TO THE STOP AGAIN YOU BETTER BE WALKING BECAUSE YOU'RE OFF THE BUS FOR GOOD TONIGHT!
Student: F**k you f****t! F****n' f****t!

Keep in mind this student is a short kid that can't be any older than a freshman and wearing a sad excuse for a surfer costume

It is at this point Larry has slammed the door on him and left about a dozen other kids out because of this one guy and his drunk friend. Kids starts slapping the windows from the outside to let them in as Larry tears out of the bus stop like a bat out of hell while kids briefly chase the bus throwing rocks.

Now. The best part of this, Larry goes immediately back to our conversation WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT about working overtime in Seattle.

I have almost crapped my pants because this guy almost started a public transportation coup on the drunkest night on campus and Larry isn't even phased. This guy IS hardcore.


...

At one point we are driving (and this bus is PACKED. He had to count the number of students on the bus per trip, and he said our highest capacity at that time was 82 on this bus.) we're driving with so many people that I can neither stand nor sit. I had to grab onto the top bar and hang off of it at an angle in which to accommodate these kids. They ALL get off at this one point and to my joy one of the more sober ones goes "Oh hey, some girl just puked"

"What? Where? When?" I reply.

"Right there" she says and points.

I'll spare you the more horrible details, but what I saw can only be described in two ways; Chunky. World record.

Well at this point the bus driver informs me that when someone pukes on said bus, said bus has to go out of commission. So they decide where I am to go is the OTHER shuttle with one of my coworkers.

This of course is after Larry and the head... bus driver... gets into one of those heated discourses that are used in amazingly subtle rhetoric.

Head Honcho: We need to close this bus.
Larry: Ok
Head Honcho: And we need to hose this bus down before it goes back into commission.
Larry: Ok
Head Honcho: ...
Larry: I'm not going to do it.
Head Honcho: ... *sigh*

I'm on the other shuttle for about 30 minutes, and that bus was cake. My colleague and I sit in the back and bullshit with drunk kids, half an hour goes by, and then that bus driver tells me that my bus is back in commission and he's going to drop me off downtown.

Ok... drop me off downtown wearing essentially a glorified windbreaker with the words "Public Safety" in yellow. Keep in mind this is the same spot where the majority of kids out there have probably gotten written up or ticketed or arrested because of the doings of who I am currently affiliated with. Fantastic. Apparently my new co-workers don't have much discretion for stabbings by the downtown bus stop. As the next slue of drunken bargoers heads toward me, I'm looking with one eye and have my hand on my mag-lite just in case, and like a big green wheeled angel, Larry's back to pick me up. He swoops in and I ride off the rest of the night yelling at frosh and trying to keep my eyes open.

It was the best halloween ever.

More Poetry.

A way out west there was a fella,
fella I want to tell you about, fella
by the name of Jeff Lebowski. At
least, that was the handle his lovin'
parents gave him, but he never had
much use for it himself. This
Lebowski, he called himself the Dude.
Now, Dude, that's a name no one would
self-apply where I come from. But
then, there was a lot about the Dude
that didn't make a whole lot of sense
to me. And a lot about where he
lived, like- wise. But then again,
maybe that's why I found the place
s'durned innarestin'.

They call Los Angeles the City of
Angels. I didn't find it to be that
exactly, but I'll allow as there are
some nice folks there. 'Course, I
can't say I seen London, and I never
been to France, and I ain't never
een no queen in her damn undies as
the fella says. But I'll tell you
what, after seeing Los Angeles and
thisahere story I'm about to unfold--
wal, I guess I seen somethin' ever'
bit as stupefyin' as ya'd see in any
a those other places, and in English
too, so I can die with a smile on my
face without feelin' like the good
Lord gypped me.

Now this story I'm about to unfold
took place back in the early nineties--
just about the time of our conflict
with Sad'm and the Eye-rackies. I
only mention it 'cause some- times
there's a man--I won't say a hee-ro,
'cause what's a hee-ro?--but sometimes
there's a man.

And I'm talkin' about the Dude here--
sometimes there's a man who, wal,
he's the man for his time'n place,
he fits right in there--and that's
the Dude, in Los Angeles.

marriedtothesea.com

A Denim Company Stole One Of My Favorite Poems

Pioneers! O Pioneers! -Walt Whitman

COME my tan-faced children,
Follow well in order, get your weapons ready,
Have you your pistols? have you your sharp-edged axes?
Pioneers! O pioneers!

For we cannot tarry here,
We must march my darlings, we must bear the brunt of danger,
We the youthful sinewy races, all the rest on us depend,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

O you youths, Western youths,
So impatient, full of action, full of manly pride and friendship,
Plain I see you Western youths, see you tramping with the foremost,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Have the elder races halted?
Do they droop and end their lesson, wearied over there beyond the seas?
We take up the task eternal, and the burden and the lesson,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

All the past we leave behind,
We debouch upon a newer mightier world, varied world,
Fresh and strong the world we seize, world of labor and the march,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

We detachments steady throwing,
Down the edges, through the passes, up the mountains steep,
Conquering, holding, daring, venturing as we go the unknown ways,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

We primeval forests felling,
We the rivers stemming, vexing we and piercing deep the mines within,
We the surface broad surveying, we the virgin soil upheaving,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Colorado men are we,
From the peaks gigantic, from the great sierras and the high plateaus,
From the mine and from the gully, from the hunting trail we come,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

From Nebraska, from Arkansas,
Central inland race are we, from Missouri, with the continental blood intervein'd,
All the hands of comrades clasping, all the Southern, all the Northern,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

O resistless restless race!
O beloved race in all! O my breast aches with tender love for all!
O I mourn and yet exult, I am rapt with love for all,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Raise the mighty mother mistress,
Waving high the delicate mistress, over all the starry mistress,
(bend your heads all,)
Raise the fang'd and warlike mistress, stern, impassive, weapon'd mistress,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

See my children, resolute children,
By those swarms upon our rear we must never yield or falter,
Ages back in ghostly millions frowning there behind us urging,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

On and on the compact ranks,
With accessions ever waiting, with the places of the dead quickly fill'd,
Through the battle, through defeat, moving yet and never stopping,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

O to die advancing on!
Are there some of us to droop and die? has the hour come?
Then upon the march we fittest die, soon and sure the gap is fill'd.
Pioneers! O pioneers!

All the pulses of the world,
Falling in they beat for us, with the Western movement beat,
Holding single or together, steady moving to the front, all for us,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Life's involv'd and varied pageants,
All the forms and shows, all the workmen at their work,
All the seamen and the landsmen, all the masters with their slaves,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

All the hapless silent lovers,
All the prisoners in the prisons, all the righteous and the wicked,
All the joyous, all the sorrowing, all the living, all the dying,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

I too with my soul and body,
We, a curious trio, picking, wandering on our way,
Through these shores amid the shadows, with the apparitions pressing,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Lo, the darting bowling orb!
Lo, the brother orbs around, all the clustering suns and planets,
All the dazzling days, all the mystic nights with dreams,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

These are of us, they are with us,
All for primal needed work, while the followers there in embryo wait behind,
We to-day's procession heading, we the route for travel clearing,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

O you daughters of the West!
O you young and elder daughters! O you mothers and you wives!
Never must you be divided, in our ranks you move united,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Minstrels latent on the prairies!
(Shrouded bards of other lands, you may rest, you have done your work,)
Soon I hear you coming warbling, soon you rise and tramp amid us,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Not for delectations sweet,
Not the cushion and the slipper, not the peaceful and the studious,
Not the riches safe and palling, not for us the tame enjoyment,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Do the feasters gluttonous feast?
Do the corpulent sleepers sleep? have they lock'd and bolted doors?
Still be ours the diet hard, and the blanket on the ground,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Has the night descended?
Was the road of late so toilsome? did we stop discouraged nodding on our way?
Yet a passing hour I yield you in your tracks to pause oblivious,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Till with sound of trumpet,
Far, far off the daybreak call-hark! how loud and clear I hear it wind,
Swift! to the head of the army!-swift! spring to your places,
Pioneers! O pioneers!

Link De Jour

If you got five minutes.

the words you're looking for are fucking A

La on Vimeo.

Line of the week

Courtesy of my new job trainer:

(when discussing lockout keys) "You got to find that sweet spot before you force it in. Otherwise you'll just break it off."

I literally had to stop myself mid-breath from saying "Oh, you have no idea."

The Flaming Lips "Embryonic"

This is more Flaming Lips than most Flaming Lips albums. I think they finally realized that they can be accepted for who they are as we are now living in some sort of fucked up Captain Beefheart era of electronic indie music. I mean, just look at they're album cover:

I'm pretty sure they get it now. But god damn, I miss At War With The Mystics.

Obama does Norway

It took me at least an hour to finally absorb the concept that the first president since Teddy Roosevelt has won a Nobel Peace Prize while his administration was still in office.

Within 12 hours of this news, the backlash and lack of understanding behind this is drowning Tea-Party-ers and moderates alike.

So here's what I've gathered;

We all know that Jimmy Carter and Teddy Roosevelt both received peace prizes for their work during their administrations.
as i can't think of anyone else of major political influence pushing as diplomatic unitarity leader, the choice has led to him.

The major difference between Carter/T.R. and Obama is Obama was not awarded for a specific event.

Carter received his for brokering a peace deal between Israel and Egypt in the 1970s

Teddy Roosevelt received his for brokering the Treaty of Portsmouth during the Russo-Japanese War


to Obama's credit no one right now is as influential as he is in having the western and non-western powers pay attention to a diplomatic agenda.

Bush definitely attempted to but was too close to a conviction that was mislead (and I'm not saying this with bias, but with empirical fact) and was only able to create a stronger allied defense i.e. NOT technically peace.


People need to stop getting upset about this because people who complain over EVERY SINGLE FUCKING laureate usually doesn't have a strong conviction to global diplomacy (as well, neither do I. on the scale between 1 and Non Interventionist , I'm a Couldn't-Care-Less-About-Foreign-Policy-ist.)

However to accept a legacy's criteria, even on something you don't care about, is just something to learn. In fact, if you honestly don't understand how the Nobel Prize concept is rationalized, then why are you even getting angry?

As Bert Gordon said to Sarah Packard in The Huslter, "So don't make trouble, Miss Ladybird. Live and let live! While you can. I'll make it up to you."

Morons

This is like watching two monkeys trying to fuck a football

Vampire Weekend's "Contra"

This album is either going to be fantastic, or its going to prove that the Paul Simon's popularity reemergence has proven to be fucked out.

There is no middle ground!

This is what happens when you don't have class or work on Friday. i.e. viral marketing research.

It's a little unnerving when you click on advertisements.

This morning my facebook newfeed (I am god damn trendy) had something about one of my lady friends (not my special lady friend, I'm just trying to help her conceive) had "voted" on a "poll" from Macy's Department Stores.

"Ok, I'll bite." I said to myself. After all, I am a viral marketing bitch.

The question to answer for said poll was "What's your key look?"

I have no fucking clue what that means.

The different choices were "classic black", "animal instinct", and "forever plaid"

Now I'm guessing that you have to choose between a fat person, a creepy person, and a Scotsman.

I chose "animal instinct".

WRONG FUCKING ANSWER.

With a grand total of 11%, I am of the least popular demographic of nearly 17,000 bored mostly women and the coffee drinking man in his underwear (does that change the context?) providing the lord's public relations work. The most popular group was the "classic black" people. Those bastards are fucking going down.

And now here's the creepy part.

anyways, after you take this "quiz" you can leave a comment, which I don't. But many chose to anyways. So I begin clicking on the more... enthusiastic... ones. Now I'm staring into the ego-oriented face of those not realizing they are publicity's bitch.

For example, actual "testimonies":

"forever plaid ohh yeah and 1st ! :)♥" (Ok, this girl is admittedly a teenager, so I suppose her enthusiasm could be considered endearing)

"always bet on black baby ;)" (when I clicked on this person's picture, I accidently yelled "gahh!" and I heard my roommate jump in his bedroom next door. The desperation of "single and 40" was written with a sharpie all over this photo.)

"obvs black its all i wear to work" (what confuses me here is her ability to be employed and still chooses to use the term "obvs")

"Classic Black... that's me." (ok I actually like this person's comment. simple and to the point and proud of her flag)

My favorite:

"BLACK!!" (her enthusiasm caught me off guard with this one)

THE WINNER:

"Can't g wrong with classic black. I HATE plaid....so ugly and country/hoedown looking. A little animal print is okay sometimes, but too much looks trashy."

(personally I think a lot of animal print looks fantastic. When I leave my apartment in the morning I like to have people think there's a zebra running out of B4 in a dead sprint to the bus stop.)

(also I didn't forget the "o" in "go". this woman actually misspelled "go" for all of Macy's PR department to see)

Things I've Learned in College Part 10

It will never NEVER not be creepy whenever anyone does that whistle thing from Kill Bill Vol. 1

Things I've Learned in College Part 9

There's something to be said about "2nd Timers", those who for one reason or another dropped out college and return years later to create an idea of self-fulfillment or advance their career further.

I have known several personally. My freshman year I met my first, a 26-year-old Iraq War veteran who was swimming in the G.I. bill (which I envy all the time). He had stories that made my sappy adolescent heartbreaks seem like a stubbed toe. Fantastic incredibly talkative man.

Others are close family friends with heavy conservative ideals.

The majority as it seems has lost the ability to abide by the collegiate code of nodding your head in agreement. Conformity, essentially. The life experience they bring to my politics of inequality tend to make focusing difficult. While I appreciate everyone's life story in an Ira Glass sort-of way, some seem to get a little too carried away.

...

There's a scene in Stanley Kubrick's classic "Full Metal Jacket" where the main character Joker confronts a sniper who turns out to be a teenage girl witha gigantic machine gun. Another person, before the sniper is able to shoot Joker, sprays the girl with machine gun fire. As she's laying on the ground with minutes to live, she begins speaking English (it's a Vietnam war movie, I forgot to mention) with a simple phrase, over and over again "Shoot me."

This scene comes into mind today in the aforementioned "Politics of Inequality" class. This class has halted along with all remaining structure (as a fucking 300-level class!) and I am forced to listen to two women expressing their love for small children in princess dresses. This seriously is clashing with Hemingway discussing war with an Italian priest during World War I.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to drop this class.

...

In my Comm 220 class (the name actually slips as it my last required class before I submit my portfolio). The thing about all communication classes is the teachers are (obviously) excellent communicators. HOWEVER, some attempt the comedic, shall we say, "attention maintainer", aspect. This man for the first 45 minutes was enthusiastic about shaking hands with your neighbors (it felt oddly similar when I use to attend Catholic church services on Saturday nights when I was little..er.), and had a keen parent-like self awareness of things the kids to like ratemyprofessor.com and facebook, and yet, made it seem very much like he wasn't trying too hard (despite the fact that I'm pretty sure he was. the best teachers tend to be.)

ANYWAYS as he's discussing what creates great communication between two parties (here's a hint, it doesn't involve using parenthesis) and he keeps giving his t.a. "the eyehump". Often making absurd segways to say something somewhat flirtatious. After his most recent endeavor and several glances towards my neighbors with the eyebrow raise/sideways head tilt that signifies fornication, he goes into a story about the first time he told said t.a. that he loved her, "when I was 16". THEN he finally goes into the fact they he's been married to the random women for 22 years, which is followed by subsequent collection of sighs and "oooohh...."'s

It's been a hell of a first week.

The best purchase I have EVER made for $0.99.

When the world is constantly concerned about inflation, just know that somewhere in Bellingham there are vinyl recordings of humpback whales in the bargain bins of record shops.

"This is a private residence, man." -The Dude

I just realized I can't sing to Vampire Weekend and type a blog at the same time.

Nor can I do the guitar solo whilst typing.

Oh well, who gives a fuck about an oxford comma?

That's NOT the point I'm trying to convey right now.

My point is I'm struggling to find motivation in stagnation, but I'll try...

HOWEVER I've decided to make a new project for myself (well, four, technically, but this one I'm about to announce is specifically pertinent to BUSINESS TIME.

I'm going create a personal list of the best albums circa 2000-2009.

I'm not sure how many albums there are going to be.

This list will be completely bias in every single way possible, meaning despite M.I.A.'s talent and ability to exploit her child, YOU WILL NOT SEE HER ON MY LIST GOD DAMMIT!

in other words this album list might come out as a giant autobiographical timeline, which I'm seriously considering

or possibly a list. But either way it's what I love more than anything so fuck you I don't care what you like.

I'm sorry I didn't mean to swear at you. That was a bit mean, wasn't it? Ok big hug.

YES.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I can't believe I just realized this...

Congress is making a weird transition into becoming British Parliament

I noticed this first when Joe Wilson decided to act like a an asshole.

But now

if the Republicans hate Socialism,

and Joe Wilson is acting like a member of British Parliament,

and Britain to Republicans is a Socialist nation,

then is Joe Wilson integrating Socialism into congress?

DUN DUN DUN....

(500) Days of Summer... meh

First reaction: I liked it better when it was called ANNIE HALL.

Second reaction: The whole "successful underdog" indie phase is done... just, done. There's a great Strong Bad E-mail out right now about how obnoxious the concept has become. Rarely (often) they're right about things... and they kinda pegged the whole concept; album, prepubescent drawings for credits. For lack of a better term, it's all kind of fucked out.

Third reaction: This is another thing I'm going to call now; that was a last movie like this. The ONLY reason Juno & Napoleon Dynamite is in the win bracket was they were AIMED toward teenagers. This just in between and wasn't groundbreaking.

Fourth reaction: That's not to say this this was a bad movie. The editing was interesting but shoddy. After the fourth instance of how in looooooooove Tom was me and the ladyfriend were both very much of the "get on with it!" opinion. The acting... good (Zooey Deschanel showed about as much range and she could actually muster in this movie. Singer, yes. Actress, FAIL.

I hate to rag on a movie that put forth some effort, but it just didn't have enough of anything. The plot was interesting in that it put the main character as self deprecating and realizing. But the story just felt juvenile and the depth was toooooo shallow. Which I suppose was good because a lot of people these days can relate (if this movie was only made 2 years ago...) to monogamy and love

Why the hell didn't anyone tell me that Norman Borlaug died?

God Dammit.

What do I pay you people for?

Inglourious Basterds (much like Pulp Fiction)

This movie was fantastic, contending for the number #1 film this year.

Quentin Tarantino is really getting his own game, and his honing his craft.

Now here's the thing, this movie is NOT better than Pulp Fiction (which would be impossible), but it's damn close. In other words, I get this funny feeling watching this movie that he will soon make the next Godfather or Ben Hur or Citizen Kane. He's getting back to what he knows and he's doing it well again. It's only a matter of time before he makes his coup de grace.

It's like Pulp Fiction with subtitles in Nazi-occupied France.

BUT here were the three biggest problems with the movie (and not the fault of the actual movie or creators of said movie)

1. EVERYONE before the movie's premiere was expecting Kill Bill, which it was not. The violence was graphic and horrifying, but very few times did it actually occur, and not in highly stylized ways (much like Pulp Fiction).

2. EVERYONE expected a lot of involvement of the actual "Basterds", just genuinely their romping around killing various people and whatnot. FALSE. The Basterds only take up about 1/3 of the movie. You WANT them to exist more and more but don't (much like Pulp Fiction), and you like the torture!

3. EVERYONE I talked to who had seen it before I did kept expelling their anguish for Brad Pitt's role. They thought it was obnoxious and too much and over the top. I'm telling you right now, Lt. Aldo Raine (Pitt's character) was the adhesive. He was so damn funny with every line he had, as few as their were (rather, not as much as I wanted). He was obviously not the smartest character, but it was obviously intentional to glue all the obscure pieces together.

Soundtrack was a great score of spaghetti western themes, Edith Piaf-esque vinyl, and 70s b-movie songs (and a David Bowie song as well???)

Dialogue was great. Cast was amazing. Setting took nonsense and made it work.

Oh and it has many subtitles.

Hugo Stiglitz!

Ok first watch this video:

Ok so several things here to point out.

A. At the 2:15 mark you see the whole thing go down in real time. Don't talk shit. Just don't.

B. This is hilarious and depressing all at the same time. It's funny to see someone get their shit called out, but you know Legarrette Blount has got Mike Tyson like violence issues. How is letting him off easy in practice helping the situation? The saddest thing about this is NOBODY states the not-directly-obvious.

C. And what really pisses me off is the announcers are trying to pretend that they're martyrs of good sports ethics as opposed to staying neutral in the matter. Journalism (even sports journalism) prides itself on that ideal, although it is rarely carried out.

D. I'm done hearing why collegiate football is more ethical and sportsmanlike than professional football. They can't prove that because IT'S NOT TRUE. The only difference between NFL and NCAA is the number of teams in the league and the ability of the players. And it's sooo satisfying to watch their "sportsmanship" initiative blow up in their faces.

final thought:

E. At about the 2:50 mark you see two things.

1- How fucking bro-y college football fans are.

2- The pomposity accumulated that Boise State has gained after winning one ONE bowl games ever. Good job, guys.

Let me say that Battle Ground, Washington is a developing-ish rural-ish town north of Portland, Oregon.

The population is about 16,000 and lowering, as the housing boom took many plots of developed land and turned them into vacant lots for weeds to occupy.

It has three Starbucks, one Fred Meyers, a Safeway, a Tire Factory, and a 8 screen movie theater.

It has a clash of young families integrating into the newly developed, still occupied, non-foreclosed suburbia with the vanguard of still rural occupants there for many many generations.

I described Battle Ground once to a really really pretentious professor at my uncle's wedding (whom thought my flannel shirts humorous) like "living in a more urbanized version 'The Last Picture Show' with the sanctuaries of a still standing theater and Portland, Oregon"

now to the point:

if there's one thing that DOES NOT exist in Battle Ground are returning college graduates, for there are no jobs (maybe at "The Columbian" for Journalism majors, but that's in Vancouver) for the young fledglings.

this is what baffles me for when I returned two weeks ago for a wedding the headlining movie at the movie theater was "Post-Grad"

According to yahoo.com "Post Grad" is this:

"Ryden Malby had a plan. Do well in high school, thereby receiving a great college scholarship. Now that she's finally graduated, it's time for her to find a gorgeous loft apartment and land her dream job at the city's best publishing house. But when Jessica Bard, Ryden's college nemesis steals her perfect job, Ryden is forced to move back to her childhood home. Stuck with her eccentric family - a stubborn do-it-yourself dad, an overly thrifty mom, a politically incorrect grandma, a very odd little brother - and a growing stack of rejected job applications, Ryden starts to feel like she's going nowhere. The only upside is spending time with her best friend, Adam - and running into her hot next-door neighbor, David. But if Ryden's going to survive life as a post grad, it may be time to come up with a new plan... "

Now you can understand my confusion, I think... I can understand the lack of decent storyline and the chick-flic-ness , but the demographic is all wrong.

Observations Watching "Home Alone 2: Lost in New York"

For reference, I was not under any influence writing my observations while watching this movie.

This movie should be renamed "Home Alone 2: Hotel Concierge Held Liable For Child's Disappearance"

The weirdest part, aside that the kidnappers should be dead or unconscious after at least 3 serious injuries, is recently watching "Goodfellas" (which is amazing) and "Casino" (which is close to amazing) and seeing Joe Pesci being so vulgar and violent (by which I mean stabbing many many people), and then going from that to Joe Pesci (in the same YEAR as Goodfellas) being beat half to death and NOT being vulgar because of a 10 year old.

A. I really miss Joe Pesci

B. He was as hot as a camel's ass in 1990

As well, Catherine O'Hara, because of the Home Alone series, was PERFECT for Orange County

and speaking of which, I'm glad Colin Hanks is getting solid work acting in Mad Men. I wondered where he went since Orange County, and I get him confused with the guy from "(500) Days of Summer".

FINAL THOUGHT:

The crazy pigeon lady in "Home Alone 2" looks insanely similar to Susan Boyle.

I swear this will be the last campaign song related post for a while.

I read not too long ago that John McCain formally apologized to Jackson Browne for using his song "Running on Empty" during his campaign.

First off, thank you.

Second off, please hang Sarah Palin upside down for using "Barracuda"

Third off, thank you for going back to normal John McCain. We really missed you being the normal non-partisan politician that I would have voted for. Please don't listen to the GOP anymore.

Forth off, why the hell would you use (of all amazing Jackson Browne songs) "Running on Empty". That just seems like a generally bad song to support a campaign with.

Personal suggestions:

-Take it Easy

-These Days (if he had real testes, he's use the Nico cover)

-Late for the Sky

I would seriously consider arresting somebody in a way that looked racially motivated if it meant I could have a beer and talk about race relations with the president and a Harvard scholar.

I probably wouldn't talk a lot seeing as I'm from Battle Ground and they're, well, black (seriously... as far as race relations go, I'm so out of my element. That is, unless they wanted to talk about Bibio's new album.)

But I'd love to just listen.

ALSO

I'm guessing a blue collar police officer discussing anything is probably gonna feel like the odd man out when he's talking to

A. The President

B. The Vice President

C. The top scholar of African American studies in the nation

ALSO

Nice cop out *cough Obama/Biden cough* on the Miller Lite choice. Pick an actual beer for god's sake.

I'm unintentionally in Battle Ground for the weekend but I'll be back in tomorrow to possibly discuss the following:

-Jackson Browne

-John McCain

-The Beer Summit

-Joe Pesci, Tim Curry, Daniel Stern, and Mackuley Culkin

-Inexplicable fishing and improper demographic fittings

Sleep, son.

District 9

Ok. Holy Shit. I recently read a Videogum blog about it being the "Heinz catsup" of movies. That's kind of fucking true. It was weird. After watching the movie and recapping the film with my roommate over a cigarette I felt a mental satiation. It was the first time probably since Children of Men (which, ironically is also the last great sci-fi film) that I left feeling full.

Ok now for the why:

-My favorite reason: it was basically a weird, enormous, cinematic bitch-slap to the U.N. (except they address it as MNU). They pull no punches of mentioning that the "MNU" is the second largest weapon provider in the world. The corruption of all characters involved just oozes out of the screen.

-Another reason: it depicts exactly what would happen. Aliens aren't the bad guys, aliens aren't higher intelligent beings, and aliens aren't the answer. Aliens are REFUGEES. The opening scene is a documentary style that reminded me a lot of footage of Chinese immigrants getting stuck inside a shipping container. The militarized compounds force out real employment or financial aide, thus the slum environment and the corruption. What I found even more engaging is how they tied the Nigerian organized crime into the story as a component fighting for possession of the hero and better weapons.

(p.s. it's really hard to not give away so much of this movie the trailer definitely puts you into a fog of ambiguity that doesn't really give much of a plot)

-Another reason: SUCH a good use of violence, action, and gore. I went over to my girlfriend's house last night after seeing the movie and I went on a rant with her roommate about how amazing it is to see all the things that I had just above mentioned. She then saw how excited I was and the roommate said "Wow I really want to see it now!" (which is totally understandable as she just graduated with a sociology degree)

Now was the moment that I realized that I was so caught up about everything else that I forgot how many awesome (and I mean awesome in the dude sense, it was awesome) the gore was. I won't go into detail because I would actually give away part of the plot but I will say this; lightening gun that makes people explode, a robot mech that fucks serious shit up, and an alien pulls someone's head off. Now you understand why this is a high stomach tolerance movie. This movie is a dude-ly grossout action flick combined with serious social statements.

This is what I'm saying about it being the Wheaties of movies.

Lastly: the main character. The main guy (who becomes the middleman hero) was SOO FUCKING GOOD. Starting off as an MNU agent, he's very squirrelly and nervous and rapidly becomes so completed at the end of the 1st hour of the movie. I mean, wow. You feel it like you felt the insanity of Daniel Day Lewis in There Will Be Blood.

A few characters were a tad cliché but you get so thrown off by the story's swing from one genre to another that it really doesn't take away from it.

It was better than Star Trek. It wasn't as perfect as Star Trek, but it so much more challenging to cinema's establishment than I've seen in a while. It melded so much more together.

There's always healthcare reform backlash in the banana stand, wink.

Regarding the brown-shirting going on at town hall meetings

I've spent my day doing three things:

1. Turning in resumés

2. Setting up my apartment

3. Watching in various media forms mislead, old people going batshit at town hall meetings

It's amazing how easily mob mentality ensues when retired white people are pushed into fear and misinformation.

In fact, the last time I saw a meeting like that go into a fear-mongering mob was IN HIGH SCHOOL at an ASB meeting about whether or not to allow a gay-straight alliance club to establish itself at said high school.

I think maybe I just get so annoyed by shit like this because

A. the health care reforms would in many areas be a good perpetuation of conservatism, but the fact is the actual healthcare plan would appeal to both sides of the fence.

B. the reason people are being thrown into a tissy is the Republican party is in a serious fear of vanishing faster than the Populists that they're willing to gain popularity under the sacrifice of general welfare and misguidance of it's own followers.

Well fucking done.

Things I want RIGHT NOW

-The god damn 2nd season of Six Feet Under to finish downloading

-A lot of scented candles lit in my apartment

-Soooooo much more than just a taste of Trailer Park Boys

-A job possibly as a security guard or a barista (and shouldn't it be baristo for men?)

-A bike ride

-Spooning, in large quantities

-Just to be fucking back in Bellingham (two. days.)

-A run through South Campus

-A solution to my oxymoronic cognitions that I really want to live but really really really am going to miss my home and family

-A Costco hotdog date

The 21 Gun Salute for John Hughes

Watch all of these movies three times. It's the only homage I can think fitting for the man who created:

-My all time favorite movie.

-The only legitimate sequel. Ever.

-The BEST teen flicks prior to Superbad.

Actually my biggest beef nowadays (not my biggest beef nowadays) is the fact that these next generations ahead of us are never really going to have the memory of Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club. Everything's going to be 10 Things I Hate About You and Superbad. Especially the boys. Growing up I thought Sixteen Candles was THE most accurate representation of high school movie (mainly because they're were some shocking similarities between Farmer Ted and me circa 2004-5).

Sigh. I could go on and on but I guess all their is to say is rest in peace, John Hughes. You shaped everything from my childhood, to my pre-teen years, to my Thanksgiving and Christmas traditions

Holy shit! The Fantastic Mr. Fox Trailer is out!

And now a small child covering Johnny Cash.

I went boating today.

if I hear that God Damn phrase "I'm on a boat" one more time I'm going to impale said speaker of the phrase.


Because I heard that fucking song WHILE I was on a boat in someone else's boat.


ALSO

I'm noticing a common trend of douchery (which if my theory can be validated) in which large wakeboard-toting boats with large speakers that enunciate their imposed music on the rest of Yale Lake always seem to play out really shitty 80s rock.


And I'm pretty sure I can prove a correlation here. Give me time.

Bruce Springsteen saved rock & roll.

KISS is a fucking abomination.



That is all.





Oh, and the world would be better without stripped down ballads.

Saturday Night

I would suggest clicking on the link

Wuh-BAM!

I just figured it out!

"Entourage" is basically a cheesy primetime soap opera for men.

What the hell? How did I not figure that out?

It's got horrible dialogue, predictable plots, and the storyline goes in circles?

Dammit! I've been had!

Also I'll probably watch it next week... and "Hung" too

I, apparently, can speak perfect Russian.

Now if I can only remember what it was I saying in Russian...

Job? No. Alcohol, Books and HBO? Yes. This is the summer album suggestions of 2009.

First off the Original Vanguard: the ones I forgot to mention for some reason or another.

Radiohead "Hail To The Thief" -Let's not get confused here. I still don't like Radiohead. BUTTTT... I do fucking love this album. A great timepiece and ripe for booty (at least that's what Thom Yorke said about it)

The Thrills "So Much For The City" & "Let's Bottle Bohemia" -The Thills are five guys from Ireland who came here to start some baroque-ish shit. Instead they spent half a year in San Diego and decided to start making a shitload of sunshine indie pop that strictly talked about California and California-related materials. This is usually best to listen while you're working.

Recent Inductees:

Dr. Dog "We All Belong" -Great. Great. Great.

Vampire Weekend "Vampire Weekend"

Bruce Springsteen "Born To Run" -For road trips. I mean, it's ok for hanging out

The Velvet Underground "Loaded"

Eddie Vedder "Into The Wild: Music from the Motion Picture" -I think what originally drew me in was the fact that everything about the actual movie is so intricately done. What's better is it's Eddie Vedder and even after you're done with the movie you can still feel the vibe behind this movie.

Maplewood "Maplewood" -I don't think it's necessary to really go there again.

Beck "Modern Guilt" -Nothing left me happier while I was scrubbing toilets for the government last summer.

The New Alumni

Thin Lizzy "Jailbreak" -This is one of those timepieces that you weren't there for but you can still feel it.

The Magnetic Fields "69 Love Songs" -Now it's hard to go through this entire album in one sitting. That why it's best to stave off about 30 a day. It's hard to comprehend how they can literally do 69 songs and still have the entire album tie together.

T. Rex "Electric Warrior" -Hedonistic rock comes to an apex if you get drunk to this on someone's property

Peter Frampton "Frampton Comes Alive" -This is obvious, but it needs to be said. Sunsets work the best with this, especially with close friends.

Neko Case "Middle Cyclone" -I had a dream just before I came home for the summer about this. I drove the same car out to an abandoned strip mall (much like the one in the album art inside of the cd) and i was isolated for miles by grass fields on a very hot day. I lit up a cigarette and looked out around me and pondered my existence for about five minutes, and then I woke up. Oh, and it's Neko fucking Case.

M. Ward "Hold Time" -My substitution for She & Him, as that album is growing me weary.

Grizzly Bear "Veckatimist" -I have this weird thing where this song comes on during rainstorms in the summer. Also that weird foghorn noise in the background of "Two Weeks" sounds a lot like the giant car from "Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory" that expels tons of soda foam at its passengers. AND because I use to watch that move all the time during the summer when I was a little kid, "Veckatimist" gets to be on my summer summer suggestion list.

Floating Action "Floating Action" -I listened to this once in April and thought immediately "Shit this will be great to listen to on a boat. It was.

The Format "Dog Problems" -This goes back to last summer and the whimsical side reality. A litte poppy but still just barely serious enough to take seriously.

The Violent Femmes "The Violent Femmes" -I think because the lyrics match up so closely to how much I miss my girlfriend that I like this so much (Yes, even "Add it Up")

Dinosaur Jr. "Farm" -Dinosaur Jr. just has that kind of feeling anyways that perpetuates great memories.

Built To Spill "There's Nothing Wrong With Love" -Great for driving around Eastern Washington, I've decided. (They're from Boise, and the vibe is just right)

Van Morrison "Astral Weeks" -You know what, I don't think I even need to explain because this album is just that good.

Stevie Wonder "Music Of My Mind" -Brimming optimism just makes this that much better. I know a lot of people get turned off because his 80/90s music is just crap. But back in the 70s he really had something going.