This is what happens when you don't have class or work on Friday. i.e. viral marketing research.

It's a little unnerving when you click on advertisements.

This morning my facebook newfeed (I am god damn trendy) had something about one of my lady friends (not my special lady friend, I'm just trying to help her conceive) had "voted" on a "poll" from Macy's Department Stores.

"Ok, I'll bite." I said to myself. After all, I am a viral marketing bitch.

The question to answer for said poll was "What's your key look?"

I have no fucking clue what that means.

The different choices were "classic black", "animal instinct", and "forever plaid"

Now I'm guessing that you have to choose between a fat person, a creepy person, and a Scotsman.

I chose "animal instinct".

WRONG FUCKING ANSWER.

With a grand total of 11%, I am of the least popular demographic of nearly 17,000 bored mostly women and the coffee drinking man in his underwear (does that change the context?) providing the lord's public relations work. The most popular group was the "classic black" people. Those bastards are fucking going down.

And now here's the creepy part.

anyways, after you take this "quiz" you can leave a comment, which I don't. But many chose to anyways. So I begin clicking on the more... enthusiastic... ones. Now I'm staring into the ego-oriented face of those not realizing they are publicity's bitch.

For example, actual "testimonies":

"forever plaid ohh yeah and 1st ! :)♥" (Ok, this girl is admittedly a teenager, so I suppose her enthusiasm could be considered endearing)

"always bet on black baby ;)" (when I clicked on this person's picture, I accidently yelled "gahh!" and I heard my roommate jump in his bedroom next door. The desperation of "single and 40" was written with a sharpie all over this photo.)

"obvs black its all i wear to work" (what confuses me here is her ability to be employed and still chooses to use the term "obvs")

"Classic Black... that's me." (ok I actually like this person's comment. simple and to the point and proud of her flag)

My favorite:

"BLACK!!" (her enthusiasm caught me off guard with this one)

THE WINNER:

"Can't g wrong with classic black. I HATE plaid....so ugly and country/hoedown looking. A little animal print is okay sometimes, but too much looks trashy."

(personally I think a lot of animal print looks fantastic. When I leave my apartment in the morning I like to have people think there's a zebra running out of B4 in a dead sprint to the bus stop.)

(also I didn't forget the "o" in "go". this woman actually misspelled "go" for all of Macy's PR department to see)