Is it possible to avoid pretentiousness when quoting Salinger when he discusses materialism?

His quotes always seems to detract towards some strange disgust towards egotism, and I think because of that it shoots off towards an establishment over the social hierarchy and then it comes off as pretentious.

I don't get it.

The Family Feud

So I'm watching (or was) the Family Feud right now.

I know.

And as I initially began watching the show and I'm noticing something peculiar right now.

Everyone looked very much like celebrities.

But not average daytime show "I need money" celebrities.

Like legit atypical famous people.

Like Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Aniston, Bono, Robin Williams, Denzel Washington, David Letterman, and Martha Stewart. 

and I'm thinking, "There is NO way these people are all together to play  Family Feud. I mean these people don't do anything unless we have a natural disaster, and this is fucking Family Feud."

and then the host (who happens to be one of those "I need money" celebrities) comes back from commercial and then goes "Welcome to Family Feud; Celebrity LOOKALIKE Edition!" 

and then my brian sort of melted out of my ears.

And then I realized that all of the people looked so fucking weak.

And the Hilary Clinton looked nothing like Hilary Clinton.

And David Letterman looked a little pudgy.

And Bono didn't even have a fucking accent!

Robin Williams was pretty dead on.  He might have been pushing it a little too hard though.  But he fucking killed at the "final feud".

Then my mind wandered to two different thoughts:

1.  Could you actually brag to friends about having sex with a celebrity impersonator?

-My thought is it depends on the celebrity they impersonate.  If it's a fake Brad Pitt; yes.  If it's a fake Edward Norton; maybe.  If it's a fake Joan Collins; FAIL.

2. What psychological problems (if any) do these people have?  I mean they really ham up the act, so does that mean they show a sincere appreciation for the given celebrity, or do they just like being performers?

Cause I know a lot of douches who would do that for a living.

Do they live vicariously through their celebrity?  Are they more prone to stalking their celebrity?  There must be a book about it.  But researching this topic further would feel like you're looking through the list of serial killers on Wikipedia, it would just feel wrong and a little morbid.

I'm fucking going outside.

Rest In Peace, Kelly Groucutt.

Kelly Groucutt, the bass player for Electric Light Orchestra (and the main man behind that sweet line in "Mr. Blue Sky") died from a heart attack last Thursday.







He'll be in my thoughts and always on my telephone line.

I'm just hoping Spring gets here soon/I miss my friends back home.

Guess who just got back today?
Them wild-eyed boys that had been away
Haven't changed, haven't much to say
But man, I still think them cats are crazy

They were asking if you were around
How you was, where you could be found
Told them you were living downtown
Driving all the old men crazy

You know that chick that used to dance a lot
Every night she'd be on the floor shaking what she'd got
Man when I tell you she was cool, she was red hot
I mean she was steaming

And that time over at Johnny's place
Well this chick got up and she slapped Johnny's face
Man we just fell about the place
If that chick don't want to know, forget her

Spread the word around
Guess who's back in town

You spread the word around

Friday night they'll be dressed to kill
Down at Dino's bar and grill
The drink will flow and blood will spill
And if the boys want to fight, you'd better let them

That jukebox in the corner blasting out my favorite song
The nights are getting warmer, it won't be long
Won't be long till summer comes
Now that the boys are here again

“When you punish a person for dreaming his dream / don’t expect him to thank or forgive you. / The best ever death metal band out of Denton / will in time both outpace and outlive you… Hail Satan!"

Conan O'Brien, Seattle, Etc.

For some reason (I think it had to do with nostalgia) I watched the entire last week of Late Night With Conan O'Brien.


It was weird seeing a recap of such a minor part of my youth so glorified by everyone significant.



But the craziest thing that I guess I never really understood was how smart and self aware Conan O'Brien is.


I'll explain. After recovering from my initial 4 hours in Seattle (and yes, it required recovery). I didn't realize he was a Harvard grad (which, in all relativity, is insignificant). Prior to watching the final episode last night, I watched an "Inside The Actor's Studio" interview with him. It was enlightening to see him discuss his show with such a dedication and artist prose. The thing that he said that most appealed to me was what he said towards the end of the show:


(in paraphrase) "It's not an exact science. But really nothing is an exact science. Science isn't even an exact science. I mean, just look at today. Just look at wall street. We need to realize that no one really knows what they're doing. Because of that, some people choose to live in fear. Other choose to feel liberated. I choose to be liberated."


I almost feel as if I'm living in some sort of psuedo-utopia . Obama is president, O'Brien is hosting The Tonight Show. Things just seem right, even if the recession isn't changing and I've got a splitting headache.

Tomorrow I'm going to do everything I need to do and then try and figure out whether or not I hate or love Seattle.

This is literally the funniest thing I've seen since I saw Super Troopers for the first time.

If I ever have a daughter, God I hope she does this kind of stuff

Valentine's Day

Flawless.

Pavarotti 

Heart

Neil Young records for Valentine's Day

Chicken Alfredo.

My favorite adopted little sister finding my gifts for me.

Cigarettes on the roof the sunny morning after.

Two loud and vulgar men cooking.

Giggling girls comparing us to a Marx Brothers routine.

The fact that my favorite people were finally all together in one place.

Flawless.

Michael Caine In Spain

Two more things.

"motha-heads"... or maybe it was "mullet heads"

"Alright, stand back you pedestrians, this ain't no automobile accident. "

No Subject

the worst thing my best friend has done for me (the male best friend from western, i have categories.) was what he did for my birthday. two days after january 16 (and 363 until the one that matters) he gave me a vinyl of "Ring of Fire: The Best of Johnny Cash".


Now I don't own a record player. My girlfriend is adamantly pro-vinyl. My hipster acquaintances play them ironically. I download music and smoke expensive cigarettes. I DON'T DO VINYL.

and so three weeks later this will be delivered to me via overwhelming urges to restrain the junk:

my baby: 

I feel like a whore.  But Nick bought me that record for three reasons:

-He likes to point out my "rural" upbringings

-I really fucking like Johnny Cash

-This quote: "I figured since you're Mr. Fucking 'Radio Indie Douche', you needed to finally play vinyl, and I wasn't going to spend more than 10 bucks on your ass. So this is your motivation to BUY A FUCKING RECORD PLAYER!"

he shouts a lot.

Favorite dialogue of last weekend: 

"What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to find the person with the lowest self esteem."

"Any luck?"

"Ah! There she is! Tube-top girl who's screaming."

"You're fucking awful."

My Sister.

The only time I wish I had a vagina is when I listen to Sleater-Kinney.


Something I've decided to do:

Some of you may or may not know that my sister is going to college next year. She's obviously as angsty as I was back when, but she's so much more mature than I was at 17. I honestly don't tell her enough how proud I am of her, but I guess that's just my family's style. Sincerity tends to make my family shiver. She's such a little badass these days.

This realization came to fruition when she told me on election night last year that if she could vote she would vote for Obama because (wait for it) she likes what he's been doing for women's rights. Little fucking badass. Even if she goes to Katy Perry concerts... I just hope she doesn't start smoking.

But what I've decided to do is make her her first mix cd from me. Because I want her to be a great women, it's going to be a four month project of vagina rock. I want to her to grab life by its chauvinistic balls and have her control the environment, instead of being the product of it.

So when she leaves for school in September after I give her my talk about watching your ass and not taking pot brownies from strangers on the bus (yes, this actually happened to a friend of mine), I'm going to give her this cd with my second spiel about the badassery I've just mentioned.

racism