Sunday, December 30, 2007

Country Music

n the not too distant past i was driving home from california with my mom



and her audible beverage of choice was the contant mainstream country stations assumed with the small towns of rural california/oregon

as we drove through i listened very intently to the lyrics of the songs



they've all become very hedonistic

mostly about drinking games or the country equivelent of "ho's"


such as the "check you for ticks" song that i heard a total of 7 times in 10 hours

yes i counted, 7 times


the other thing with it is it's all very mushy and sentimental


if 50% of the songs were poorly written hedonistic odes

then the other 50% were about being a dad

and they all sucked. 

like i really tried to enjoy them but i mean... damn they blew




and then about 6 o'clock we were mid-way through oregon and i guess on sunday nights the play "old fashion country hits of yesteryear" on mid-oregon stations

and every song was some story of some hussie taking some woman's man
*dolly parton*

or some guy restraining himself from violence because his dad told him too before he died, that is until the local rowdy cowboy gang nearly killed his spouse and he laid out some old fashion whoop ass on all of them
*kenny rogers*

or even stories of a man out-fiddling the devil for his soul and recieving a golden fiddle for his feat, which coincidently sounded more like a guitar than a fiddle
*chalie daniels band"


but as i heard all this good time-iness i realized that the bad-assery of country has vanished, probably sometime in the early 90's along with fanny packs and mixtapes


it was sad

those were the days

when spousal abuse and alcohalism meant a no. 1 hit

and all the pharmasueticals you could handle 

*cough johnny cash cough merle haggard cough*





enjoy your day

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