Line of the week

Courtesy of my new job trainer:

(when discussing lockout keys) "You got to find that sweet spot before you force it in. Otherwise you'll just break it off."

I literally had to stop myself mid-breath from saying "Oh, you have no idea."

The Flaming Lips "Embryonic"

This is more Flaming Lips than most Flaming Lips albums. I think they finally realized that they can be accepted for who they are as we are now living in some sort of fucked up Captain Beefheart era of electronic indie music. I mean, just look at they're album cover:

I'm pretty sure they get it now. But god damn, I miss At War With The Mystics.

Obama does Norway

It took me at least an hour to finally absorb the concept that the first president since Teddy Roosevelt has won a Nobel Peace Prize while his administration was still in office.

Within 12 hours of this news, the backlash and lack of understanding behind this is drowning Tea-Party-ers and moderates alike.

So here's what I've gathered;

We all know that Jimmy Carter and Teddy Roosevelt both received peace prizes for their work during their administrations.
as i can't think of anyone else of major political influence pushing as diplomatic unitarity leader, the choice has led to him.

The major difference between Carter/T.R. and Obama is Obama was not awarded for a specific event.

Carter received his for brokering a peace deal between Israel and Egypt in the 1970s

Teddy Roosevelt received his for brokering the Treaty of Portsmouth during the Russo-Japanese War


to Obama's credit no one right now is as influential as he is in having the western and non-western powers pay attention to a diplomatic agenda.

Bush definitely attempted to but was too close to a conviction that was mislead (and I'm not saying this with bias, but with empirical fact) and was only able to create a stronger allied defense i.e. NOT technically peace.


People need to stop getting upset about this because people who complain over EVERY SINGLE FUCKING laureate usually doesn't have a strong conviction to global diplomacy (as well, neither do I. on the scale between 1 and Non Interventionist , I'm a Couldn't-Care-Less-About-Foreign-Policy-ist.)

However to accept a legacy's criteria, even on something you don't care about, is just something to learn. In fact, if you honestly don't understand how the Nobel Prize concept is rationalized, then why are you even getting angry?

As Bert Gordon said to Sarah Packard in The Huslter, "So don't make trouble, Miss Ladybird. Live and let live! While you can. I'll make it up to you."

Morons

This is like watching two monkeys trying to fuck a football

Vampire Weekend's "Contra"

This album is either going to be fantastic, or its going to prove that the Paul Simon's popularity reemergence has proven to be fucked out.

There is no middle ground!

This is what happens when you don't have class or work on Friday. i.e. viral marketing research.

It's a little unnerving when you click on advertisements.

This morning my facebook newfeed (I am god damn trendy) had something about one of my lady friends (not my special lady friend, I'm just trying to help her conceive) had "voted" on a "poll" from Macy's Department Stores.

"Ok, I'll bite." I said to myself. After all, I am a viral marketing bitch.

The question to answer for said poll was "What's your key look?"

I have no fucking clue what that means.

The different choices were "classic black", "animal instinct", and "forever plaid"

Now I'm guessing that you have to choose between a fat person, a creepy person, and a Scotsman.

I chose "animal instinct".

WRONG FUCKING ANSWER.

With a grand total of 11%, I am of the least popular demographic of nearly 17,000 bored mostly women and the coffee drinking man in his underwear (does that change the context?) providing the lord's public relations work. The most popular group was the "classic black" people. Those bastards are fucking going down.

And now here's the creepy part.

anyways, after you take this "quiz" you can leave a comment, which I don't. But many chose to anyways. So I begin clicking on the more... enthusiastic... ones. Now I'm staring into the ego-oriented face of those not realizing they are publicity's bitch.

For example, actual "testimonies":

"forever plaid ohh yeah and 1st ! :)♥" (Ok, this girl is admittedly a teenager, so I suppose her enthusiasm could be considered endearing)

"always bet on black baby ;)" (when I clicked on this person's picture, I accidently yelled "gahh!" and I heard my roommate jump in his bedroom next door. The desperation of "single and 40" was written with a sharpie all over this photo.)

"obvs black its all i wear to work" (what confuses me here is her ability to be employed and still chooses to use the term "obvs")

"Classic Black... that's me." (ok I actually like this person's comment. simple and to the point and proud of her flag)

My favorite:

"BLACK!!" (her enthusiasm caught me off guard with this one)

THE WINNER:

"Can't g wrong with classic black. I HATE plaid....so ugly and country/hoedown looking. A little animal print is okay sometimes, but too much looks trashy."

(personally I think a lot of animal print looks fantastic. When I leave my apartment in the morning I like to have people think there's a zebra running out of B4 in a dead sprint to the bus stop.)

(also I didn't forget the "o" in "go". this woman actually misspelled "go" for all of Macy's PR department to see)

Things I've Learned in College Part 10

It will never NEVER not be creepy whenever anyone does that whistle thing from Kill Bill Vol. 1

Things I've Learned in College Part 9

There's something to be said about "2nd Timers", those who for one reason or another dropped out college and return years later to create an idea of self-fulfillment or advance their career further.

I have known several personally. My freshman year I met my first, a 26-year-old Iraq War veteran who was swimming in the G.I. bill (which I envy all the time). He had stories that made my sappy adolescent heartbreaks seem like a stubbed toe. Fantastic incredibly talkative man.

Others are close family friends with heavy conservative ideals.

The majority as it seems has lost the ability to abide by the collegiate code of nodding your head in agreement. Conformity, essentially. The life experience they bring to my politics of inequality tend to make focusing difficult. While I appreciate everyone's life story in an Ira Glass sort-of way, some seem to get a little too carried away.

...

There's a scene in Stanley Kubrick's classic "Full Metal Jacket" where the main character Joker confronts a sniper who turns out to be a teenage girl witha gigantic machine gun. Another person, before the sniper is able to shoot Joker, sprays the girl with machine gun fire. As she's laying on the ground with minutes to live, she begins speaking English (it's a Vietnam war movie, I forgot to mention) with a simple phrase, over and over again "Shoot me."

This scene comes into mind today in the aforementioned "Politics of Inequality" class. This class has halted along with all remaining structure (as a fucking 300-level class!) and I am forced to listen to two women expressing their love for small children in princess dresses. This seriously is clashing with Hemingway discussing war with an Italian priest during World War I.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to drop this class.

...

In my Comm 220 class (the name actually slips as it my last required class before I submit my portfolio). The thing about all communication classes is the teachers are (obviously) excellent communicators. HOWEVER, some attempt the comedic, shall we say, "attention maintainer", aspect. This man for the first 45 minutes was enthusiastic about shaking hands with your neighbors (it felt oddly similar when I use to attend Catholic church services on Saturday nights when I was little..er.), and had a keen parent-like self awareness of things the kids to like ratemyprofessor.com and facebook, and yet, made it seem very much like he wasn't trying too hard (despite the fact that I'm pretty sure he was. the best teachers tend to be.)

ANYWAYS as he's discussing what creates great communication between two parties (here's a hint, it doesn't involve using parenthesis) and he keeps giving his t.a. "the eyehump". Often making absurd segways to say something somewhat flirtatious. After his most recent endeavor and several glances towards my neighbors with the eyebrow raise/sideways head tilt that signifies fornication, he goes into a story about the first time he told said t.a. that he loved her, "when I was 16". THEN he finally goes into the fact they he's been married to the random women for 22 years, which is followed by subsequent collection of sighs and "oooohh...."'s

It's been a hell of a first week.

The best purchase I have EVER made for $0.99.

When the world is constantly concerned about inflation, just know that somewhere in Bellingham there are vinyl recordings of humpback whales in the bargain bins of record shops.

"This is a private residence, man." -The Dude

I just realized I can't sing to Vampire Weekend and type a blog at the same time.

Nor can I do the guitar solo whilst typing.

Oh well, who gives a fuck about an oxford comma?

That's NOT the point I'm trying to convey right now.

My point is I'm struggling to find motivation in stagnation, but I'll try...

HOWEVER I've decided to make a new project for myself (well, four, technically, but this one I'm about to announce is specifically pertinent to BUSINESS TIME.

I'm going create a personal list of the best albums circa 2000-2009.

I'm not sure how many albums there are going to be.

This list will be completely bias in every single way possible, meaning despite M.I.A.'s talent and ability to exploit her child, YOU WILL NOT SEE HER ON MY LIST GOD DAMMIT!

in other words this album list might come out as a giant autobiographical timeline, which I'm seriously considering

or possibly a list. But either way it's what I love more than anything so fuck you I don't care what you like.

I'm sorry I didn't mean to swear at you. That was a bit mean, wasn't it? Ok big hug.